Occupational Hazards – Space Teams

Occupational Hazards is a column that takes a look at the commonly occurring occupations presented in horror film and television, and the key part these jobs play as the story develops.

Occupational Hazards deals with terrible career choices in the world of horror, and if I’m honest, the idea of going into space seems like a bad idea most of the time. There are so many horrible ways to die, and when things start to go wrong, there is very often no escape and no hope of reaching help.

Even outside of the world of normal space horror, so many franchises decide to send their central killers into space to spice up a series that it seems death is around every corner in zero gravity.

There were so many to choose from this time around, but let’s check out ten of my favourite fucked space teams.

The Space Marines in Doom (2005)

Loosely based on the video game of the same name, Doom follows a group of space marines after they are sent to investigate an attack at a research facility on Mars. They travel to Mars via a wormhole called the Ark, where they are tasked with retrieving all the computer data from the facility.

Of course, it’s not that easy, with all the staff having been killed or turned into monsters by the genetically engineered creatures who have taken over the facility. And when Reaper falls out with Sarge over his approach, it’s a race against time to escape Mars and stay alive.

The Nostromo Crew in Alien (1979)

While every Alien movie is about a space team having a terrible time, I had to go with the first movie in the series as it’s the most iconic. The crew of Nostromo are on a return mission to Earth when they are awoken from stasis and investigate a ship’s distress signal. While investigating, Kane is attacked by a creature jumping out of an egg, and though he seems to make a full recovery, a baby alien bursts out of his chest during the crew’s dinner one night.

Not only did they just watch a crew member die, but the crew now has to deal with a rogue alien on board, who slowly kills off every crew member with only Ripley (and the ship’s cat Jones) living to tell the tale.

Lewis and Clark Crew in Event Horizon (1997)

Another example of why you should ignore random distress signals from spaceships is Event Horizon when the crew of the Lewis and Clark head off to investigate the Event Horizon when it mysteriously reappears after even more mysteriously disappearing seven years previously. As part of the crew on Lewis and Clark is Dr. Willian Weir, the designer of the Event Horizon.

Now, the distress signal includes people screaming and Latin, and yet no one thinks heading into space to investigate is a bad idea. Well, it really is, because all they find is a lot of death and a gateway to Hell.

Icarus II Crew in Sunshine (2007)

There is such a clear pattern here that honestly I think these teams deserve their grisly space deaths. The crew of Icarus II is on its way to fire a bomb into the sun and hopefully save the human race when they pick up a signal from the previously failed mission, Icarus I. They decide to grab the bomb from the first ship so they have two chances at success, but due to technical difficulties, the crew end up boarding the Icarus I.

And there they find lots of death (shocking, I know) and a captain who has been driven mad by seven years alone in space and a bit too much sun exposure. And while no one survives from either ship, at least the bomb makes it into the sun, saving everyone on Earth below.

Cliff and David in Black Mirror ‘Beyond the Sea’ (2023)

Things so rarely go well in Black Mirror episodes, so it’s no wonder that Cliff and David have a terrible time in the episode ‘Beyond the Sea’. In an alternate version of 1969, both men are astronauts who can transfer their consciousness into replicates of their bodies back on Earth. This means that unless they’re needed to maintain the ship, they can still spend time with their families and escape the monotony of space.

However, when David’s body is destroyed and his entire family is killed by attackers, things start to go wrong. Cliff decides to let David use his fake body for short periods of time to ease his pain and allow him to escape the ship. But when David starts to get a little too obsessed with Cliff’s wife, things quickly reach breaking point, which I won’t spoil, but is perfection.

International Space Station Team in Life (2017)

There are no distress signals in this one, but there is the discovery of a new life form not being met with immediate terror in Life, which turns out to be the crew’s downfall. A space probe from Mars brings the team a soil sample which contains a new organism, which ends up being named Calvin. Cute, right?

However, Calvin very quickly turns hostile, and after escaping the lab, it manages to kill most of the crew in increasingly horrible ways.

Death Row Criminals in High Life (2018)

In this alternate future, if you’re a criminal on death row you could end up in space extracting energy from a black hole and being experimented on by a procreation-obsessed scientist. It sounds like a terrible deal to me, if I’m honest, but there is a masturbation box which the crew have access to, which is…something I guess.

After one of the crew successfully gives birth, things start to get weird as the ship gets nearer to the black hole, leaving only Monte and the baby, later named Willow, alive.

Churchill Crew in Lifeforce (1985)

The poor Churchill crew are potentially the quickest to die in all the films I’ve mentioned so far, with most of the film’s action taking place back on Earth after the crew is already dead. But before all that they find a huge spaceship hidden in Halley’s Comet that is full of bat-like creatures and three naked bodies preserved in pods.

After taking one of the bats and the three bodies into their ship, they head back to Earth hoping to run into no problems. But when the ship reaches home, the crew have all died in a terrible fire, and only the mysterious and naked bodies have remained intact.

Mars Police Force in Ghosts of Mars (2001)

After finding the remote mining outpost of Shining Canyon deserted, a team of Mars police force officers are in for a very bad time when it’s revealed that the miners have been possessed by the titular ghosts of Mars, turning them into violent killing machines.

The miners are now obsessed with murdering anyone who comes too close and committing self-mutilation to make themselves look even scarier.

Student Field Trip Team in Jason X (2001)

After a field trip to the long-abandoned Earth I, a group of research students discover two frozen bodies and decide to take them back aboard their ship. Unfortunately for them, one of the bodies is renowned killer Jason Voorhees, and the other is Rowan, a government scientist who was trying to get rid of Jason once and for all.

Once they’re back in orbit, Jason awakens after thawing out a little and slashes his way through the ship’s crew. And just when it seems like he may have finally been defeated, the ship’s nanites rebuild Jason with parts of the ship, creating the pretty much indestructible Uber Jason.

Why not check out more editions of Occupational Hazards here!